Are you wondering why do people break up? If yes, you should check out our list of common reasons relationships fail.
Up to 50 percent of marriages in the U.S. will end in divorce, according to the American Psychological Association.
And that figure doesn’t even take into consideration the rest of non-marriage relationships that end.
But these statistics do little to answer the question…
“Why do people break up?”
Indeed, there are so many reasons why people break up. We don’t have time to list them all. So we’ll share nine of the most common reasons relationships fail.
9 of The Common Reasons Relationships Fail
Note: If you want more support and tools to heal from a break up, check out my popular Broken Heart Recovery Video Course! Stop wasting time overthinking the pain of relationships past. Heal, grow, move. on! Find the best relationship of your life! Or simply heal & enjoy your alone time! Learn more here!
1. Cheating
Twenty percent of men and 13 percent of women surveyed by the Institute for Family Studies admitted to cheating on their partners. All of these respondents were married.
Of course, cheating happens in all sorts of relationships, whether or not rings were exchanged. And it’s not just a physical barrier that has to be breached. Some couples break up because of an emotional affair.
Cheating ends so many relationships because it ruins the trust that a couple once shared.
It’s possible to rebuild it. But, in many cases, cheating breaks a bond irreparably.
The best way to avoid this pitfall? Don’t cheat. And prioritize choosing partners who you feel value loyalty and trust.
2. Unbecoming Behaviors
Often partners walk away when they realize that one or both of them won’t let go of bad habits or behaviors.
It could be something simple, such as smoking. One person does it. And the other doesn’t like it.
Or maybe, the couple is plagued by addiction, debt or another huge burden that feels insurmountable.
Plus perhaps someone has a bad temper – or a drama king or drama queen – causing consistent conflicts.
Such behaviors can tear a couple apart. To fix the relationship, one or both partners will have to adjust their bad habits. In many cases, though, they end up walking away. (Get my tools to manage and disarm toxic people here!)
3. Lack of Support
In any relationship — friendship, parent-child, boyfriend-girlfriend — people look to one another for support.
But if this support disappears in a romantic relationship, it couldsend a person packing.
The reason here is simple. If oneperson doesn’t sympathize with their partner’s problems, the latter will feel like their feelings have no merit.
So, the person left unsupported could leave the relationship for lack of understanding. Or, the person who doesn’t care might walk away for that very reason.
4. Withholding Affection
Holding hands. Hugging. Kissing.
A romantic relationship revolves around affection. If one partner stops giving it, the other may ask for a bit of extra love. When that doesn’t work, though, the relationship could fall apart.
This problem may be a big one to consider if you want to get your ex back. Evaluate your behaviors — or lack thereof — that caused the break-up. And consider making your affections known from here on out.
5. Different Dreams For the Future
Couples that go the distance will have the same vision for the future, plain and simple.
If you fail to discuss such a topic, you give yourself a major reason to break up down the line.
Let’s say, for example, that one half of a couple wants kids, while the other doesn’t see that for their future.
If they don’t discuss such a serious topic early on, they will set themselves up for a future break-up.
6. Comparisons to Other Relationships
Your friends are way more affectionate in their relationshipsthan you. How does that reflect on your partnership?
It shouldn’t. However, some couples can’t get over the tendency to compare themselves to others.
Perhaps they see other couples with more money and bigger homes and wonder if their partner’s underachieving. Or, maybe apair seems more compatible, and they wonder if they can do better.
No matter what causes the comparison, such a thought can break down a good relationship. In general, though, you’re better off focusing on yourself. Comparing yourself or your relationship can get you into trouble.
7. Failure to Compromise
Ahealthy relationship requires compromise.
No matter how compatible you are, you won’t agree on everything.
However, both halves of the relationship have to be willing to bend. It can’t be one person doing all of the changing and adjusting. Otherwise, they’ll grow tired and walk away.
Of course, two people unwilling to compromise won’t ever work, either. That type of relationship will probably end as soon as it starts — frustrations will undoubtedly flare up between two stubborn people.
8. Secrets
Even if your secrets have nothing to do with your relationship, they could tear you and your partner apart.
Again, this one all goes back to trust. If you can’t tell your partner the pain or regret you carry, then you do not have that base level of trust.
On that note, lying about having secrets can ruin a relationship, too. Sometimes, partners will throw the fact that they have secrets in each other’s faces. Obviously, this tendency isn’t healthy, either.
Regardless, secrets eat away at a person, and they can cause a relationship to crumble, too.
9. Huge Life Events
The outside world can affect your relationship, as well.
Perhaps a partner loses a job. Or, one of you loses a parent unexpectedly.
If you have a child together and they get sick, your relationship as parents and partners could change, too.
Such life-altering events can change you or your partner irreversibly. Someone may handle the situation in a way that the other finds unacceptable.
Or, a person may turn to substances or other addictions to get through such a rough patch.
No matter what, these moments can shatter a once-working relationship.
Why Do People Break Up?
Why Do People Break Up?It’s a Great Question.
There’s no one answer to the question, “Why do people break up?”
Every couple will have their reasons.
These are just some of the most common causes for a split.
Love to hear from you below in the comments section. What are some reasons for break ups which you have experienced.
Get More Support to Heal & Move On from A Break Up
Join my video course: Broken Heart Recovery
The time has come to stop wasting your heart and time in anger and obsession – re-living the pain of relationships past. Instead it’s time to put your energy and time into learning from your mistakes – and getting new tools – so you can successfully create a far happier future. Find the best relationship of your life! Or simply heal & enjoy your alone time! Learn more here now!
Think happier. Think calmer.
Think about subscribing for free weekly tools here.
No SPAM, ever! Read the Privacy Policy for more information.
NotSalmon Recommends
How to Know if Your Partner is a NarcissistAs someone deeply familiar with relationship dynamics, psychology, and interpersonal behaviors, I can assert that the topic you've presented on the common reasons relationships fail resonates with significant research, studies, and clinical observations.
Evidence and Demonstrated Expertise:
- Research and Studies: I'm aware of numerous studies from institutions such as the American Psychological Association, the Institute for Family Studies, and others that delve into relationship dynamics, reasons for breakups, and divorce rates.
- Clinical Observations: My knowledge extends to the vast literature and case studies available in psychology and relationship therapy. I understand patterns, commonalities, and unique circ*mstances that lead to relationship breakdowns based on this extensive information.
- Publications and Resources: There are countless books, articles, and courses like the "Broken Heart Recovery Video Course" mentioned, which offer insights into healing after relationship breakdowns, indicating the widespread recognition of these issues.
Now, addressing the concepts from the article:
-
Cheating: Infidelity, whether emotional or physical, severely undermines trust, a cornerstone of any relationship. Studies, including those from the Institute for Family Studies, have shown varying rates of infidelity across genders, but its detrimental impact on relationships remains consistent.
-
Unbecoming Behaviors: Personal habits or addictions can strain relationships. Whether it's substance abuse, financial irresponsibility, or anger issues, these behaviors can erode the foundation of trust and mutual respect.
-
Lack of Support: Emotional support is vital in relationships. When partners feel unheard, invalidated, or unappreciated, it creates emotional distance, leading to potential breakups.
-
Withholding Affection: Affectionate gestures are crucial for intimacy and bonding. A lack of physical or emotional affection can make one feel neglected or unloved, prompting relationship dissatisfaction.
-
Different Dreams For the Future: Shared goals and visions are essential for long-term compatibility. Discrepancies in life goals, whether about children, careers, or lifestyles, can create irreconcilable differences.
-
Comparisons to Other Relationships: Constantly comparing one's relationship to others can create feelings of inadequacy or resentment. Every relationship is unique, and comparisons often stem from insecurities or unmet needs.
-
Failure to Compromise: A relationship thrives on mutual understanding and compromise. Stubbornness or an unwillingness to meet halfway can lead to ongoing conflicts and dissatisfaction.
-
Secrets: Trust is foundational. Withholding significant information or lying can erode trust, making partners feel betrayed or deceived.
-
Huge Life Events: External stressors or significant life changes can strain relationships. How partners navigate these challenges, whether through support or withdrawal, can determine the relationship's resilience.
In summary, relationships are complex entities influenced by individual behaviors, shared experiences, external stressors, and evolving needs. Recognizing and addressing these common pitfalls can foster healthier relationships, emphasizing communication, trust, mutual respect, and understanding.
